Final year is like the final opportunity given us to do whatever we either procrastinated or failed at over the past four years. A major accomplishment of some people’s stay in the university is to find sweethearts or soul mates. Those of us who needed miracles to do this could either count our losses and hope good fortune brings some decent sweethearts our way, or try again at least one more time. This one-more-time-try-again thing is idiomatically known as 'scoring the mallam goal'. Stories of trials our comrades who're dating normally face deter us and makes us conclude that we'd rather date after school, but when it's Friday or Saturday evening on campus and loneliness overpowers you, such decisions are cursed. So I had to try again... this time, on Shelly, a church girl....
Shelly
no doubt was beautiful. Her waist, from the clothes she wore, was slender.
Her beautiful face was flanked by a pair of lovely dimples. She had a very
ass-tounding backside and a firm pair of tantalizing melons. Her skin was
bright; brighter than my chances of graduating with a first class degree. Her beauty made her a befitting wife for the gods.
What
made my heart quiver for her the more was the fact that she was in the choir
and occasionally led worship. Anytime she sung, I could feel the demons in me
peacefully exiting my depressed self. I felt peace, and some indescribable
amount of sanctity.
One
Sunday after church, while walking to Conti roundabout to board a trosky
to my hostel, the Holy Spirit advised me to commit my feelings in prayer. I think most campus relationships became
relationsh*ts because they lacked the will and approval of God. Take for
example a help-me-finish-my-course affair. Some guys take care of girls'
financial, emotional, psychological, mental and even academic needs throughout their stay in
this school, and once the girls graduate, well-to-do men come and whisk them
away. Also, boys who sleep around with numerous girls eventually wouldn't marry
them after school because most of them would go for virgins. Now seriously,
how's this kind of thing the will of God? So there and then, I blasted a few
tongues, mentioning Shelly's name with 'let your will be done oh Lord', and
said a convincing Amen!
I
entered the available trosky. Just after I had inclined into my
seat, a young lady also joined and sat by me. It was Shelly. My heart pounded,
but I kept my cool (Fodome boys are known for their calmness regardless the
predicament before them). She said "hi" and went on to ask, "Where
do I know you from?"
"From
church," I replied obsequiously and smiled sheepishly.
Just
as I thought of how to build on my luck so far, some financial limitations
awoke me to reality. The fare for the two of us was Ghc1.70. On me was just one
cedi. But then, the Holy Spirit told me not to worry and that I should lift my
left leg. I obeyed, and good Lord, there laid a shimmering one cedi coin. This
thing must really be the will of God. It's ordained; no two ways.
Later
at night before kicking the pillows, I asked God for another sign. Lo and
behold, I dreamt about her. In the dream, I was crossing the Mecca road. While
doing so, a speeding shuttle out of nowhere emerged. Out of fright, I tripped
and fell. But before the car could smash me into bits, an angel appeared and
carried me into its arms to safety. When I opened my eyes, I saw myself in the arms of a young woman; in the arms of Shelly. She gave me a
kiss on the forehead and then I woke up from the dream.
The
next day, I asked our fellowship president whether Shelly had been grabbed. He
said No and asked if I was interested. I confessed to him. He gave me his
blessing and told me to make wild. I had a strong conviction that this thing
could go in my favor. It was God-ordained; besides, I had backed it with some
three-day fasting and prayers.
After church on Sunday, I walked up to her.
"Hi
Shelly."
"Hi
ermm....," she bit her lower lip to try and recall my name.
"Tony..."
I helped her out, although I felt disappointed that she couldn't keep my
name in memory.
"Yes
yes... The guy who paid my fare for me the other time. How are you doing?"
"I'm
doing well." I responded and continued, "I've got two tickets to watch
Kobina Ansah's play, I Want to Sue God. I'd like to take you out so we watch it
together?"
She
smiled. Ooh God, those dimples!
"The
title of the play is funny, and I'm sure the play itself would be fun. But
unfortunately..." She paused.
My
heart skipped two beats, my eyes bulged. I looked intently at her. She resumed;
"You
know I'm not campus-based. I come all the way from the house, at Apemso. I live
there with my husband and daughter...."
Chai.... I collapsed!
